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suddenly rajin
Tuesday, March 8, 2016 | 4:34 PM | 0 Swiftlings
assalamualaikum aaaand goodmorning people!
(okay it was morning when I wrote this)
hence the title of this post hahahhahaha
okay so I've been wanting to update my blog,but ofcourse my ideas appear at the most inappropriate time e.g in class or during dinner or bathes or just when I'm in college with no internet access lol
but today, I decided to update my blog. yay me!
currently at home for midsem break oh and I'm so pumped to be home!
I don't know abt y'all but when I started going to college home became heaven, an escape from horrible, horrible college :(
college isn't too horrible actually, but it is sort of like a prison confining me from freedom. (ceh dramatic sangat, as if I had much freedom to begin with)
so now even just lazying around at home sounds perfect compared to being in college just sitting on my bed and thinking I should really study but I don't hahahahaha typical Farah
plus, I don't have much homies back in college. I only got Kartika and Mila and everyone in Kuns room lol for now who accepts me no matter how annoying I am.
but their rooms are sorta far from mine, and sometimes I rather chill on my own bed and be a loner than bother people in their rooms
and at home there's only mama baba now since along and angah got their on thing goin' on now, still much better cuz there's a gurantee of food and internet and tv hahahaah
yeah so you get the point, being at home is a blessing compared to being a loner in college
I've started my third sem btw. one year passed, can you believe it? thought I'd never make it through 1st and 2nd sem with all the exam subjects and osce scaring the shit out of me, but I made it alhamdullilah.
but I still haven't done my exams or osce for this sem yet, please pray for me cuz I turn into a nervous wreck every sem when it comes to osce T__T
for those who don't know what osce stands for:

get it?it's a practical exam, there are usually 5 stations hidden behind those screens/curtains consisting of procedures that we've learned throughout the sems. and theres only 5mins to do every station.
even talking about it makes my skin creep and my gaster threaten to push it's contents back out

the FAQ of being in college: how are you holding up? is it fun being a nursing student?
honestly. I feel like a fish out of water 95% of the time. reasons why:
1. the sciency stuff we learn. Anatomy and Physiology, basically bio, which I did not take up during highschool. but it's fun learning about how our body works.
2.I am all-thumbs when doing practicalshizz. I get nervous, I mess up the steps, I don't do what I'm supposed to do
3. I got no homies in class. Kartika and Mila are in the next class. being the attached kind of girl, I've always had one bestie I could lean onto. not anymore, in class that is.
4. there are only a few hours of english class. the only time I actually enjoy. and it ends this sem. and, despite being able to speak fluently, Im still too chicken to volunteer for public speaking up front.

I'm just a nervous wreck. but I still try my best to help patients in the hospital and their comfort and safety comes first. I always double-check what I have to do to avoid and fatal mistakes, alhamdullilah nothing bad yet, and hopefully ever.

every Friday night there'd be a ceramah in surau, and it's mandatory for all nursing students to go. one of the nights, when I actually paid attention to the ceramah, the ustaz says we should always do everything LillahiTaala. because He knows best and everything He puts us through is for our own good.
so nowadays whenever I feel like giving up, I would try to recall my sole purpose of being where I am. and I know He put me here so I can be a better person, a person strong enough to help others in need. He is my strength that keeps me going.alhamdullilah.

amazing how redha you feel when you know HE is always there for you, no matter what.

then theres my family. mama baba along angah. also cik Ja. they're counting on me. I owe this to them. making them proud of me for once.

these homies, despite our differences, they made this sem much better.

and there's Pasha. I'm positive he's my soulmate inshaAllah. cuz hes the one who stays even during my worst days. I'm forever grateful his level of patience with me even when I turn into a female Hulk hahahah!

I'm gonna get through this. HE is my strength. They are my strength.
forever grateful.

I have a very warm regard of all of you. <3