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Monday, June 12, 2017 | 5:52 PM | 0 Swiftlings
Currently typing away on my phone, bcs my laptops screen decided to blackout on me and angah took it to repairs (shh dont tell baba)

I have a dental apptmnt in a bit and im still nervous af bcs the dentist is always angry at me bcs
A. I usually have breakfast before I go and even if I brush afterwards some particles manage to get stuck and found by the dentist ugh
B. I can't make it to earlier appointments because of my clinical postings
C.shes just a mean person in general pfft

Just had water for sahur so no particles stuck hopefully! I'd be HANGRY by afternoon but I'll just sleep it off lol

Also its sem break yay!
Can't believe I'm done with sem5. But honestly Im so glad.im sooo over sem5. It's been a rough journey (but honestly its never been easy these whole 2 years and half)

I'll give you a hint: the keyword to this sem was KECAM.

Yep. I'll let you think the rest.
Might update in deets about what I learned this sem kalau rajin (and y'all know I usually am not rajin haha!)
But gotta say my fave was my PSY posting 💃💃💃💃 been joking around w baba about HBUK, didnt think I get to experience it in real but wow I did hahaha! Gotta say tho, sometimes people with PSY probs are much cooler than people who claim to be normal but deep down have mental issues kecam-ing people*** ehh sorry bulan puasa xle nak cite lebih

Shout out to Mira Ahmad: thanks for making life less miserable during clinical postings lol love you my smarter partner😂



And ofcourse my two sisters frm another mother+father: Syira and Kartiga. kskb would suck without you two.

But alhamdulillah I MADE IT THRU SEM 5 HAHA just 6more months to go inshaAllah
Wondering what other challenges these last 6months gonna bring, but whatever it is BRING IT ON!

I will face it and make it through inshaAllah💪💪💪💪💪
Til then. Have a good ramadhan😘
age.
Saturday, December 17, 2016 | 10:32 PM | 0 Swiftlings
they say age is just a number. who are "they" anyway ? I've no idea. I've just heard that saying as I grew up. Growing up, what is that exactly? I haven't got a clue either haha! as much as I want to stay young, I'm turning twenty already. TWO ZERO. not a teenager anymore. wooah, how did time pass by so fast? why are there so many qs in this blogpost? what kind of writing style am I going for here? nobody knows.

sorry, as usually I don't really know how to make a good start for a blog entry.
in my last post I sort of promised? that I'd update on my braceface journey, I think Imma continue that when I finally get my braces on (the male dental nurse said its gonna be this 30th.and its just for my upper teeth first. *sigh)

I just suddenly felt inspirational, after reinstalling my instagram, seeing some of my acquaintances all having a good life, studying their fave subjects, travelling exploring other countries, getting married! going into another phase of life.

did I also mention how pretty they've GLOWED UP to?! LIKE HOW DID THEY DO THAT WHY AM I STILL A POTATO DID I MISS A PHASE OR A POTION OR SMTHNG?!

while I'm at home. been lazying around for a week now, gaining more weight, accomplishing nothing. kinda dissapointing.

BUT then I also remembered, this photo or was it a fb post I don't remember where,but I remember the message was;

if you wanna be grateful, look at those less fortunate than you, only then you'll realise how blessed you are. how fortunate you are, compared to others who might be struggling financially, emotionally, physically, or all of the mentioned.

I might not be travelling the world, or doing my degree (yet) ,or getting married (lol Im not in a hurry tho)


but at this very moment, Im grateful Alhamdullilah, for
studying my way to be a nurse,
having a home and a family waiting for me to come back to when its semester break,
to have food everyday cooked by my amazing mama,
to have people who tolerate me despite being extremely annoying haha!
to be blessed by the AlMighty, eventhough at times I could be forgetful of how blessed I am by HIM.
to have the oppurtunity to live up til 20,and maybe more years to come InShaAllah.

here's to those feeling a bit down, count your blessings and realise how blessed you are. keep going til u reach ur goals, don't ever give up and believe that He is the best planner of all. everything happens for a reason :)


<3 Farah
otw to braceface part one
Sunday, July 3, 2016 | 8:27 AM | 0 Swiftlings
continuing from the last post:

*first appointment*
on the 13th of June, baba and mama acompanied me to go to the clinic in Presint 18.


baba being baba, plus the fact that we live half an hour away frm the clinic, we arrived there and was about 1 hour early from the appointment time

which meant more waiting for me

me being the nervous wreck thinking THIS IS IT I'M GONNA BE BRACEFACE HAHAHA feeling naseous, light headed, excited to see le dentist hahaha


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aaaand when they called my name I put on a brave face and just went in.

a nice looking man came in, who is my doc, inspected my teeth and said some alien words for the nurse to jot down,
and when he finished inspecting, he and the nurse explained to me the procedures of the whole thing.

which includes:
the payment,since I'm over 18 and not covered by baba's GL anymore *sigh
me needing an xray
which might reveal me in need of teeth extractions
how its not gonna be done before raya *sigh
how it is indeed gonna hurt pffft (and I thought I WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS, BRING IT ON!)

so it turns out, eventhough they took an xray of my teeth before and I waited 5 years, I still have to go through alot of appointments to get to the getting braces part.

SO the nurse told me to get an appointment for an xray, conducted at le hospital. aaaand the fastest apptment was the week after *sigh

yeah.I kinda got overly excited thinking everything could be done in a week hahahaha!

*20.6.16* *le xray day*

xrays are so boring hahaha okay I;m sorry. I went to le hosp and wore that heavy anti-exposure vest (I made that name up, but maybe that is what its called) bit into that metal thingy aaaaand its done.


after I got the x-ray film, I called the clinic again for an apptmnt, to which they gave me my latest appointment, the week after.


*27.6.16*
2nd dental appointment
this time I wasn't too nervous cuz I thought it'd just be another 10minute appointment. oho, I was soooo wrong.


I got in, and this time it's a diff doc, a woman, AND OH SHES SO FAMILIAR SHES THAT ONE REALLY TOUGH DOC I MET BACK IN 2010 I THINK OMG
the doc was there asking me to lay on that dental chair thingy.
she looked at my xray and made a guess on which teeth had to be extracted
And she barely gave me an explanation on why I had to make my lips close like normal,
I said okay, but I didnt ask why.

turns out, they were taking a mold of my teeth.
and she asked me to open wiiiiiiide and shoved the metal plus clay thing at first for my upper teeth, then lower.

since it's ramadhan, my lips were pretty chapped. oho I think she almost ripped my lips apart when she shoved that metal into my mouth!

but hey I asked for this to happen, so redha je la,
and then the former doc came in. hes the specialist. so the woman doc told her predictions and the specialist told her which ones were to be extracted...

they also said something abt surgery! because my gigi susu bongsu whatever they called it, tak tumbuh lagi. she gave me an option to do a surgery, including to extract the other four teeth they mentioned. honestly, I rather not go thru that, and the specialist even said its not necessary now, soooooooooo no surgery for me*phew

BUT THAT WAS NOT THE END TO THIS APPTMT,

the nurse told me I could get my teeth extracted right away, which I said OKAY I'LL DO IT! bcs I really wanna get this process over with fast,

I had to register again. and the process took about 10mins,
aaaand my name was called.

shhhiiit the nervousness came back hahaha but alhamdullilah, I got a super kind dentist, unlike the one that shoved that mold thingy into my mouth.

she talked to me in the kindest tone of voice and explained to me that I could get two extractions done at once. which I agreed to, bcs she is so nice! and it lessened my anxiety

so she told me to relax, and she injected the anaesthesia into my gums and palate.

had to wait outside for about 5mins til the numbness to kick in.
when it did, it was time for her to get my teeeeth out!

it was suprisingly painless, just a bit ngilu. like getting a tough nail out of something........... I could feel my teeth being wriggled out.

aaaaaaaaaand the blood poured out. didn't stop til later that night *cries
but the doc suppplied me with PCM, just incase the pain kicks in.


alhamdullilah, not too much pain. just denyut2 gitu. and I couldn't really eat properly cuz damnit I don't have teeth huwaaaaaaaaa and my gumhole became like a vacuum, sucking in food. which was extremely uncomfortable.

day 2 post-extraction: I'm doing alright. just occasional denyut2 other than that I'm okay ayyye!

I'm thinking of getting the other two out on Thursday.

update: 1/7/16

so I ended up taking the other two out three days later wuuuu
I had a horrible tummyache that morning, not frm nervousness bcs I was all redha, I think it was something I ate.
anyway, this time it was a Chinese dentist. she was really uptight. she asked me to open my mouth and I went "AAAAA" which ppl normally do, but she thought I said "ouch" and you know wht she said to me?
"I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING YET, IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS THEN GET OUT OF THIS ROOM!"
AMBOIIII, geram jugak la. nasib baik half of my face was numb from the anaesthesia. or I would've said something mean back! just because I seem young, you decide to treat me awfully like that? where are your manners as a professional dentist?

mood pagi tu walaupun dengan tummyache, fikirkan dia tolong kita. she is pregnant, and she probably had to stand in for the malay dentist, so I forgive her rudeness.
she did say "have a nice day"after I said thank you after the tooth extraction though. so okay, not too mad anymore.

I did become a bit paranoid tho, I thought she took out my fang, (I peaked and saw the tooth on the toothextractor thingy) I freaked out. because only one of my tooth from the left side of my teeth had to be taken out, not two! (okay silly paranoia, I know) I even asked my dental assistant friend about it, to which I also asked if the dentist had always been that way. she told me yeaah she is, but what kinda annoyed me was my so called friend assumed she was angry at me for not taking care of my teeth. (she mentioned "since you got to go through extraction, Im guessing you didnt take good care of yours, hence her attitude")

another point to make me pissed off. gurrrrl, before you make assumptions, condescending ones too, why don't you try ASKING FIRST? -,-

since this is the 2nd time of my tooth extraction experience, I wasn't too afraid to change the soaked gauze, and even drink some coldwater and had some vanilla icecream to make the bleeding stop. it kinda worked.

something that's bothering me though: my lip kinda got swollen, idk why but it seems like there's a stab mark on it. maybe there was an accident during the procedure, idk but its really uncomfortable. I tried putting ice on it, relieved a bit of pain.


it's been a few days since that, and now I just feel slightly uncomfortable since I can't eat much without clogging my gumholes. I really need to be patient and hope that it heals soon.

anywaaaaaaaay, my next appointment is sometime around mid September since I can't come back here anytime sooner. I think there's about 2 or three more appointments til the actualbraces part *sigh* :(

til then, thank you for reading my awfully long post!

P.S I'm sorry for the lack of pictures, despite having a camera phone I often forget to take the good pics when I;m in pain xD
a long waited suprise
Tuesday, June 28, 2016 | 7:55 AM | 0 Swiftlings
RAMADHAN KAREEM YOU GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

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* brace yourself this is gonna be a LOOONG POST*

FIRST AND FOREMOST, I'd like to apologise for being MIA from the blog-osphere lol.
I've sorta been caught up with college. seriously though, I can count the amount times I've returned home in one sem. which amounts to abt, probably 2 or 3 times, in 6months. sad right? eventhough my college's not as far away to the point I need an plane to be home, like how Kemosabe was away in Sarawak lol, but I still didn't come home. there were times when there'd be short 2 or 3 days break, and all of my Johorean or Kelantanese or Ganu classmates would buy tickets to go home, but I'd chill because I honestly don't like short breaks. I miss mama baba, really I do. but, I don't wanna go home cuz 2-3 days wouldn't cure my homesickness, it makes me even more Homesick! time flies by so fast nowadays, especially when I'm with my loved ones. makes me sad. so no, I decide not to go home at all if the breaks were too short. instead, I'd go to Penang to visit Cik Ja. short days with her makes me happy, filled with food and resting hahaha. or if I'm too lazy, I'd just chill in college. when I come back to class I'd feel okay.

I've just ended sem 3. I survived alhamdulillah, tho I am a bit dissapointed with my pointer. I messed up my Medical paper and screwed up OSCE as usual,and OSCE carries like 5Credit hours, a pretty big deal. but I passed, and I'm grateful. I vow to be less of a trainwreck next sem inshaAllah.
I've also got into misunderstandings with my close friends, making me a total loner by the end of the sem. which isn't too bad actually,although I did feel so lonely because I was so used with having besties with me, but being a loner taught me not to depend on people too much. gotta believe in myself, and be independent. 'cuz sometimes even the ones we trust so much could screw us over in a blink of an eye.

so anyway, I started my sem break by spending time w my CikJa, turns out she had to work, meaning I had to accompany her to her college and watch her do her thing, being an awesome Clinical Instructor. since Im on track to be a nurse inshaAllah, I wanna be like her too. but for now, I need to survive Nursing School first hahaha xD
living with cikJa is like living in food heaven. everyday after her work ends we go to Bazaar Ramadhan and she'd ask me "FARAH NAK NI? NAK NI? NAK NI?" and me being fat Farah would react by *NODS HAPPILY* MMM DAPNYA * haha and then I'd end up regretting, having to stay up to finish up foooood xD

AAAAND THEN I came back home to mama baba yayy! so here I am today.
home is so comfy, all I do is eat and sleep hahahahahahha gosh Im so gonna be fat by the end of Ramadhan xD


so the whole post is not to write about little updates on whats been happening, but also the main point is actually a call I received unexpectedly one tiring afternon.

it was sometime last month, when I was still busy with clinical posting,

I had morning shift that day.. as usual, after shift ends, I'd clean myself up and NAPPPPP until rollcall hahahahha yes, I kid you not. work is so tiring :/

before napping I'd usually tell le Pasha so he would know why I wont reply his messages for a few hours lol.
I was zzzzing away when suddenly I received a phone call



jeng jeng jeng



*wakes up suddenly*

via GIPHY



it turns out the phone call was from a clinic in Putrajaya. and they said my turn for the braces I requested 5 YEARS AGO has finally come!!!!!!!
I was still in a sleepy state, but I answered accordingly and told her I'm free for the date they set up for me aaaand when I hung up I was liiike


via GIPHY




DUDE I WAITED 5 YEARS FOR THIS CALL AND I RECEIVED IT AT AN UEXPECTED TIME HAHHHA YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY


SO I CALLED MAMA AND TOLD HER THE EXCITING NEWS

I'M FINALY GONNA BE A BRACEFACE SOON YAYYY HAHAHAHAH

to be continued...reaaaal sooon. thanks for reading :3


via GIPHY








suddenly rajin
Tuesday, March 8, 2016 | 4:34 PM | 0 Swiftlings
assalamualaikum aaaand goodmorning people!
(okay it was morning when I wrote this)
hence the title of this post hahahhahaha
okay so I've been wanting to update my blog,but ofcourse my ideas appear at the most inappropriate time e.g in class or during dinner or bathes or just when I'm in college with no internet access lol
but today, I decided to update my blog. yay me!
currently at home for midsem break oh and I'm so pumped to be home!
I don't know abt y'all but when I started going to college home became heaven, an escape from horrible, horrible college :(
college isn't too horrible actually, but it is sort of like a prison confining me from freedom. (ceh dramatic sangat, as if I had much freedom to begin with)
so now even just lazying around at home sounds perfect compared to being in college just sitting on my bed and thinking I should really study but I don't hahahahaha typical Farah
plus, I don't have much homies back in college. I only got Kartika and Mila and everyone in Kuns room lol for now who accepts me no matter how annoying I am.
but their rooms are sorta far from mine, and sometimes I rather chill on my own bed and be a loner than bother people in their rooms
and at home there's only mama baba now since along and angah got their on thing goin' on now, still much better cuz there's a gurantee of food and internet and tv hahahaah
yeah so you get the point, being at home is a blessing compared to being a loner in college
I've started my third sem btw. one year passed, can you believe it? thought I'd never make it through 1st and 2nd sem with all the exam subjects and osce scaring the shit out of me, but I made it alhamdullilah.
but I still haven't done my exams or osce for this sem yet, please pray for me cuz I turn into a nervous wreck every sem when it comes to osce T__T
for those who don't know what osce stands for:



get it?it's a practical exam, there are usually 5 stations hidden behind those screens/curtains consisting of procedures that we've learned throughout the sems. and theres only 5mins to do every station.
even talking about it makes my skin creep and my gaster threaten to push it's contents back out

the FAQ of being in college: how are you holding up? is it fun being a nursing student?
honestly. I feel like a fish out of water 95% of the time. reasons why:
1. the sciency stuff we learn. Anatomy and Physiology, basically bio, which I did not take up during highschool. but it's fun learning about how our body works.
2.I am all-thumbs when doing practicalshizz. I get nervous, I mess up the steps, I don't do what I'm supposed to do
3. I got no homies in class. Kartika and Mila are in the next class. being the attached kind of girl, I've always had one bestie I could lean onto. not anymore, in class that is.
4. there are only a few hours of english class. the only time I actually enjoy. and it ends this sem. and, despite being able to speak fluently, Im still too chicken to volunteer for public speaking up front.

I'm just a nervous wreck. but I still try my best to help patients in the hospital and their comfort and safety comes first. I always double-check what I have to do to avoid and fatal mistakes, alhamdullilah nothing bad yet, and hopefully ever.

every Friday night there'd be a ceramah in surau, and it's mandatory for all nursing students to go. one of the nights, when I actually paid attention to the ceramah, the ustaz says we should always do everything LillahiTaala. because He knows best and everything He puts us through is for our own good.
so nowadays whenever I feel like giving up, I would try to recall my sole purpose of being where I am. and I know He put me here so I can be a better person, a person strong enough to help others in need. He is my strength that keeps me going.alhamdullilah.

amazing how redha you feel when you know HE is always there for you, no matter what.

then theres my family. mama baba along angah. also cik Ja. they're counting on me. I owe this to them. making them proud of me for once.



these homies, despite our differences, they made this sem much better.



and there's Pasha. I'm positive he's my soulmate inshaAllah. cuz hes the one who stays even during my worst days. I'm forever grateful his level of patience with me even when I turn into a female Hulk hahahah!

I'm gonna get through this. HE is my strength. They are my strength.
forever grateful.




I have a very warm regard of all of you. <3
dua ribu lima belas
Thursday, January 1, 2015 | 5:04 AM | 0 Swiftlings
SELAMAT TAHUN BARUUUU!
HAPPY NEW YEAR UOLSS!
ohmyy I just turned 18 yesterday, and now I'm 19 already? xD
you know, if the registration dates weren't postponed, I'd be in Ipoh right now.
THANK YOU DEAR MINISTER OF EDUCATION!
'cuz honestly. I am still mentally not ready to go away just yet T__T

SO ANYWAYYY (enough depressing thoughts for now)

I actually wanted to update about my birthdaaaaaaay! hahaha
so what did I do this year?
nothing exciting. seriously though, unless you consider waiting in queues as exciting, then yeah it was SO EXCITING! *please note sarcasm there.

I did everything that I couldn't do because I wasn't officially 18 -,- which was:
1.went to le bank. make an account with a card
2.went to KPM. to get my certs sorted. turns out, I just need to do that at school -,-
3.went to school. got babbled at
4.went to JPN. made a new IC!

see. told you it's soooo EXCITING XD

but the only part which was "boring" was when we accidentally went to IOI Mall. hahahah to buy my cake and take away some KFC :3

so that's le story of my 18th birthday!

here's le pics, that are already on my fb but heyyyyyy why not repost on le blog? ;)




thank you for all the birthday wishes. and HAPPY NEW YEAR! try to make this year more meaningful than last year okay?


xoxo
Farah
expect the unexpected?
Monday, December 22, 2014 | 7:39 AM | 0 Swiftlings
this month has been... shocking.
remember when I said I went to an interview? and how I thought I crashed and burned?
well.........





(okay I still need to figure out why I can't sceencap properly)

I seriously thought I failed. then this happened!



my reaction? I started laughing. and crying. at the same time.

I didn't really know how to feel.

should I feel happy? should I feel sad?

then I showed mama. she was really happy. baba was too.

"I'm so relieved! now you've a clearer vision of where you're going! congrats Farah!"

but but but....... I didn't even agree on going yet? what are you saying? so I should go?

that was a few weeks ago. now, mama and baba made it official by telling everyone.

so I'm finally leaving Presint 14.

I am not ready :/

but I am doing the right thing right? by listening to my parents? cuz they know best? T__T

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


this post has been in draft for awhile.
here's whats happening now, I'm going. for sure.
done the med check up. bought stuff. filled up forms.

8days til my birthday. 9 til registration day.

time seems to be speeding up.

I know I should just be grateful and grow up already.
but,
I still wake up feeling unsure. but I'm really going.
so many different reactions from people. but,
all I ask for now, is for your sincere doa. prayers that I can do this and make my parents proud.

please? thank you :(